Today marks the 5th angelversary of the crossing of your life to the next. The call, "Ryan is missing! In the river, he is missing." The surrealness of those words will echoe for eternity in my mind and heart.
Turning on the TV i see the news that a 19 year old boy is missing. "Say a name!" i think to myself. "Please don't say Ryan's name!" God forgive me because i do know that even if it isn't Ryan then it is someones baby but please don't say Ryan's name!
"Ryan Dahn went missing after going into the Ohio River to save a 12 year old boy from drowning." Oh God no! I hit the floor and sobbed wondering how this could be? This is a bad nightmare and will be over soon.
Your mom standing at the Ohio River, scanning it's massivness, looking for you. In her heart she keeps telling herself that you are not there. It is all a mistake and you are on the island somewhere waiting for help. She maintains this prayer through numbness of what is happening in front of her. The sad truth would be revealed almost 2 days later when they tell us you have been found...
A Note to you Momma... (For Ryan's momma, Kathy Davis)
Hello Momma. It has been 5 years since i left and i know it is for you as though it were yesterday. Ya know, i have met so many wonderful Angels here. They are family, best friends, and they love me very much.
Heaven is a beautiful place and just know you have a home here too. You will never want to return to where you are now. You would be happy for me because i get to talk with God every day, and Jesus makes sure to say hello every day as well. They are incredible Mom, you would love them.
The streets here are made of pure gold Momma! Who would ever think there would be a road made of gold and feeling the smoothness of it when i walk on it makes me smile. And wow, the pearly gates? Forget EVERYTHING you ever thought they were. They are beyond comprehension...
There is a river here, they call it "The River of Life", the way it sparkles i can see why. It is crystal clear, wait, even more clear than crystal clear. Well, you will just have to see it to believe it. I can't wait to touch my feet in the water with you by my side doing the same. I will watch your smile as your feet enter the water.
Momma, i know for me to say don't be sad would be something you cannot defeat because the turmoil in your heart and soul is far too deep to ever grasp. So many unanswered questions plague you i know, but i want you to know God chose me because he wanted me. He picked the rose he wanted that day. Someday Momma, YOU will be the rose he picks and he will place you right beside me in His loving arms.
Smile your beautiful smile for me Momma. I am thinking of you always the way you are always thinking of me. Loving you, watching you, waiting for you - Ryan